The Real Truth

The problem with having to get up at 4 a.m. on a Monday is that I tend to be a) cranky, b) literal and c) see "a". So I have already deleted two entire posts and am wracking my brain in search of a topic that is worthy of the time you lovely readers invest in reading this blog.

What would you like to read about? Unicorns? Rainbows? Fantasy football? Improv?

I was afraid of that. I'd love to help you out, peeps, but I have nothing to say about fantasy football.

So I suppose I should stick to a topic I know a little something about.

First of all, contrary to what they told you in school, rainbows are not formed when the sun's rays are refracted and reflected by drops of mist or rain. Nor are they formed when god has a message for humankind; that's just silly. Everyone knows god texts.

Rainbows are created when unicorns spin lovely ribbons of various colors and then weave them into a magical fabric made of colored ribbon mist, which is pulled up into the atmosphere by the sun's affinity for colored mist. The sun adds its golden energy to the rainbow and then lets it curve back down to earth, where it lands and spontaneously creates a pot of gold. (As everyone knows, gold coins are the physical manifestation of the sun's golden energy).

Leprechauns have peacefully co-existed with unicorns for eons, and they protect the pots of gold from thieving bandits (often referred to as "teenagers"). They also make sure the unicorns have plenty of sparkles and fairy dust for their manes and horns and, in exchange, the unicorns let the leprechauns have some of the gold.

And there you have it, people, everything Sonnjea knows about improv.

You're welcome.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Who Will Give My Improv Eulogy?

Several people in the Held2gether Long Form Improv Class had weird things happen or come up unexpectedly, so Darren moved tonight's class to Sunday night instead.

Lisa seized upon this opportunity to attempt to kill me.

I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I told people Anya wasn't real. Or because I sometimes write heady posts. Or because I've been known to be "Miss Negativity Pants" on occasion. Or because I believe unicorns (which are real, btw) are my friends.

In any event, I clearly did something to offend her terribly because she is making me go to her Krav Maga class tonight. I'm just telling you all this so you'll know why there are no more posts after tonight... it's hard to write blogs when you're, you know, dead.

Anyway, please take a Held2gether improv class in my honor and have a nice life. I'll miss you. :(

By Sonnjea Blackwell