I tend to have my favorite topics and if you've read this blog more than a handful of times, you probably realize eye contact is one of them. And while I hate to beat a dead horse, I've had a new epiphany about eye contact in improv, and you know how I feel about my epiphanies...Well, some of them are pretty decent.
I've mentioned before that eye contact didn't come naturally to me, and I worked very hard to learn to make eye contact in scenes (and subsequently, in life). Once I experienced the benefits of making consistent eye contact (namely, getting you out of your head and onto the same page as your partner/s), I was eager to master that skill. And I did.
Or so I thought.
Recently, in classes where I'm a student, I notice I've been looking down a lot. I start with eye contact, but I'm not sticking with it consistently. I'm also very aware of when I make eye contact while I'm teaching and when I don't. And the reason for NOT making eye contact is essentially the same in both situations: I am afraid to be wrong.
I've come a long way in the arena of confidence since I started taking improv classes; that's one of the absolute best things about improv - its ability to help folks develop confidence in themselves and what they have to offer. And when I'm feeling confident, I have no trouble with eye contact, whether I'm performing or teaching or just having a conversation.
But the thing about getting better at stuff is that most things are like onions: there are layers.
Now that I'm a so-called "expert" on improv, I feel more pressure to be right about stuff. I don't want to make a weak choice in a scene. I don't want to explain something wrong in a class. Of course, I know the very fact that I'm worried about being "wrong" means I'm not totally in the moment and therefore I'm definitely not making the BEST choice possible.
Anyway, my epiphany was that when my confidence is shaky, I can't maintain eye contact. But... (and here's where the magic of improv comes into play) when I force myself to make eye contact and not look down or away, the fear of being wrong goes away and the power of being on the same page - whether it's with a scene partner or a student - returns. It takes a conscious effort, but it works every time.
It makes sense, right? I mean, in real life people who can't make or maintain eye contact are seen as shy at best and shifty no-goodnicks at worst. People are attracted to folks who are confident and self-assured, and eye contact is one of the best ways of conveying that. So why not give it a shot - even if you're not feeling confident, you can look as if you are. And pretty soon the eye contact thing will work its magic and you'll realize you're not forcing it anymore... and you do feel confident.
Until the next layer. What? There's always another layer...
By Sonnjea Blackwell
