I'm a Failure... and Proud of It!

Okay, peeps, as 2011 comes to a screeching halt it's time to reflect on our achievements of the past 12 months and ponder what we'd like to accomplish in the next 12. I don't know about you, but I was freaking awesome in 2011!

• I made far less money than I wanted to, and I would probably need a raise in order to reach the poverty level.
• I sold fewer than 50 copies of my book. 99% of them were to family members.
• I failed a non-Held2gether improv class in such spectacular fashion that the teacher told me I was a "liability to anyone who has the misfortune of being my scene partner."

Yeah, that last one still stings a little.

But I actually wasn't being sarcastic when I said I was freaking awesome. Delusional, perhaps, but not sarcastic. You don't fail this big without trying some scary shit. Working for myself, publishing books, taking classes that push me way, WAY out of my comfort zone... 2011 was a year of going big and, in some cases, failing big.

You know what I learned? Failing doesn't mean a damn thing. You don't die. Well, usually not, anyway. You learn things about yourself, regroup, and try again. Or try something else. Somebody famous said if you haven't failed at anything, you haven't really tried. And I say, if you haven't really tried, you don't know what you're capable of.

It's never too late, I swear. If you don't think you're brave enough to really go after something, welcome to my world. I didn't even know that was my problem when I first started taking improv classes - all I knew was my world seemed to be shrinking and I needed to push myself out of the comfort zone that had become a prison. Of course, what I discovered is that improv is both a metaphor for life and a miraculous tool for living life well, and thanks to the skills I learned and the encouragement I got in H2G classes, I became brave enough to go after stuff... and brave enough to fail. And life is so much more fun and interesting as a result.

Naturally, I hope you succeed beyond your wildest dreams in 2012. But I also hope you're willing to fail. Happy New Year!

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Be As Glamorous as Marilyn Monroe!

You know how some famous celebrities change their names because Norma Jean doesn't sound as glam as Marilyn or whatever? Yeah, I did that. Only, you know, not to Marilyn. Duh.

People think it's unusual to change your name, but I actually know several people who have done so - some legally and some just in daily usage. Richard of H2G Friday Company fame told me a hilarious story about a woman of his acquaintance who had a name that was both cumbersome and unattractive. Somehow during a conversation, she let it be known that she had changed her name to that strange moniker and Richard, ever tactful, replied, "You chose that?" Anyway, that's not really my point.

I was just thinking about labeling in improv and how names can be labels. It's all well and good to call everyone some variation of Frank, but if you call someone Dr. Franklin, that gives a little more information about the character. Names like Missy, Buffy or Bubbles give a different impression than Prudence, Harriet or Constance. Bubba is not going to give the same information as Harrison. Using Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So tells us a little something about the status of the characters.

Yeah, that's pretty much all I got today: Labels = good.

In any event, I changed my name to Sonnjea a long time ago, and now I'm totally glam. Need proof? Come check me out at Last Laugh Saturday in January or watch our hilarious videos.

Oh, okay, fine. Marilyn's more glamorous. But I am kinda blonde.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

We Like You! Do You Like Us?

Damn. I was sure our Held2gether Facebook page would get to 500 likes by Christmas. Turns out, I'm wrong sometimes: We ended up with 496 at the end of Christmas.

I'm not complaining or anything. That's a lot, especially considering we don't buy likes or do weird advertising aimed just at getting people to click on our page for no good reason. We're really happy that the 496 people who like H2G actually like H2G and don't just like the page because they think they'll get a free cookie or a reindeer butt magnet. Yay!

Chances are, if you're reading this blog, you probably already realize how awesome we are and have liked our FB page. You probably even follow Held2gether on Twitter. If so, thank you! We would have no reason to exist if it weren't for our fans, and we really do appreciate you all more than you know!

As a token of our gratitude, we already have shows planned for you to kick off the New Year right! The first Last Laugh Saturday is Saturday, January 28th. I know, I know - that's, like, a whole month+ away. But we wanted you to have something to look forward to as a reward for tackling 2012 with gusto and determination! Cuz that's how we roll, people.

So go ahead and finish off the fruit cakes and egg nog, write your list of New Year's Resolutions and organize your gifts into their appropriate categories: Can't Wait to Use It; Might As Well Use It Since It Was Free; Re-Gift ASAP. We'll be practicing yes, anding and adding information and justifying, so when you need a little break from the real world we'll be ready for you!

Oh, and if you haven't liked us on FB yet, could ya? Thanks! Here's the handy link to our Held2gether Facebook page.

Yeah. Turns out, I'm also a little needy sometimes.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Politically Correct Holiday Greetings from H2G

If you've seen a Held2gether improv show in Long Beach, you know we are not always politically correct. I realize that probably comes as a shock to many of you, considering our polite, mild-mannered demeanors, but every once in a while we're not on our best behavior. I blame Darren; he taught us everything we know.

Anyway, in terms of PCness, I do sort of like the "Happy Holidays" concept because it's more inclusive than greetings that are specific to Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Arbor Day, Boxing Day and New Year's. But I don't take offense when people offer me a greeting for a holiday I don't celebrate - I mean, as long as people are wishing me a happy, merry or good whatever, I'm really not picky about the whatever. For example, I've been wished Happy Chinese New Year before. I think it's obvious that I am not Chinese (at least not in the same way that Lisa is Chinese), and yet I don't jump to any conclusions that the person offering me such a greeting is trying to belittle my beliefs or imply that their New Year is any better than my New Year. Even though it totally is - I mean, Chinese New Year has dragons and shit; we just have Dick Clark.

You know I have a point, however obscure I attempt to make it. My point is that improv is about accepting, and that's what I was thinking about when I started this post. You learn to accept what other people offer - ideas, information, gifts, holiday wishes - without judging the offering or the person doing the offering. You accept it, and then you add some information or wishes or whatever of your own, and pretty soon you have the makings of a great improv scene or, you know, a happier world.

Held2gether: improv for life wishes everyone a joyous holiday of their choosing. Or, as I like to say, Feliz Kwanzukahmas.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

I Can Haz Sarcasm?

Like many cats in literature (Garfield, that I Can Haz cat and dozens of others I can't think of at the moment), I tend to be sarcastic. No, really. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true. It's unfortunate because sarcasm doesn't work in improv. There are a couple of reasons why that's so, which I will now examine for you because I have to write something or Darren will wonder what exactly it is I do here.

Sarcasm can be direct: You couldn't find your way out of a paper bag or indirect: What a great girlfriend YOU are. Sarcasm, though usually harsh in its intent, actually relies on subtlety of language.

And therein lies the problem. Improv has no time for subtley.

You have three minutes to have a scene. You need to spell out the who, what, where and what's happening between you on this big day, and do it in a way that's clear both to your scene partner and to the audience.

Particularly with the ironic, indirect version, you run the risk of confusing everyone in the room because you are essentially saying the exact opposite of what you mean. If your partner doesn't pick up on the subtlety, you are now doing two separate scenes. If the audience doesn't pick up on the subtlety, they aren't really watching the scene that you think you're doing. (FYI, that's problematic. I'm just sayin'.)

Anyway, turns out, there's a lesson here too. Being sarcastic is really a passive-agressive way to say what you want to say without actually saying it. Why not just be direct? It's quicker and doesn't have the mean undertone. Luckily, if you have a tendency to be sarcastic, H2G improv classes in Long Beach can help you, um, NOT be. Communicating clearly and directly is a skill that most of us can use a little more of, and improv's a fun and hilarious way to do it.

At the very least, it can help you be sarcastic only when it's appropriate. Like, you know, when people tell you that the Broncos won a game and you say, "Wow! I have been waiting for that news and now I can die happy."

Theoretically speaking, of course.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Improv and Riding a Bike

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

That's me breathing a huge sigh of relief. There's an improv class tomorrow night, and by my calculations, it's been 2.5 weeks since I last did improv.

Not that I'm counting.

That's not a long time by normal people standards, I realize. But given that there was a period of time over the summer during which I did 13 improv activities in 11 days, 2 1/2 weeks is a bit of a dry spell for me.

I'm curious to see if I still remember the rules, or if I fall into a black, bottomless pit of questions, denials and Crazyville information.

Oh, okay, that's not gonna happen. The thing about improv is, the skills you learn get so ingrained because you start to constantly use them in real life, that you're not gonna forget them in 2 1/2 weeks. Or 2 1/2 years. Like riding a bike, you know. Once you learn that skill, it's a skill you possess forever, unless you fall off the roof and hit your head or something. But that almost never happens.

So if you've taken a class, but it's been a while and you think you don't remember anything or that you don't "have it" anymore, that's just crazy talk. Sign up for a Held2gether improv class and see how much fun you have riding that bike again!

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Want to Climb Up On Your Roof? Take Improv.

My roof is leaking, so I clambered up there to see if it was something I could fix. You know, in the rain. It's not so stupid - I have a higher-than-normal single story roof, but it's flat and therefore relatively safe. Once you climb up and over the parapet wall surrounding it, that is.

Oh, for the love of bunnies, why is she telling us this?? I know, I know. I can be a bit trying at times. Ask anyone in Held2gether. They've all had more than their fill of me by now.

I have a point, I promise. See, the thing is, I'm afraid of heights. And, as luck would have it, it was something I could not fix. So I climbed up there and - more traumatically - back down again for nothing. But for whatever reason, I felt I had to try and so I did.

I didn't want to. But I learned in improv classes how to face my fears. People take improv classes for an infinite number of reasons, from wanting to improve their acting to wanting to be less shy to wanting to get a better job. I was of the "less shy" variety, combined with a desire to push myself out of my comfort zone. I'm not plagued by a myriad of fears or anything, but I do have a few and I wanted to learn to not let them get in my way.

Improv taught me that. You can't plan in improv. You have no idea what's going to happen, and you have to keep your mind open to the limitless possibilities. That means you can't be thinking, "Crap! What if I do it wrong? What if nobody laughs? What if they laugh at the wrong things? What if they hate me? What if, what if, what if?"

You learn in improv that you can't control the what ifs in life. And that, by not focusing on those negative what ifs, you are free to listen, contribute, do more. I'm not going to say you'll never fail again once you've taken improv; real life includes failing, peeps. But in improv, you learn not to be afraid to fail. You learn to go big... and that sometimes that means you fail big. So what? You get up and you go big again!

Facing your fears and doing what scares you makes life a lot more interesting. If you'd like a more interesting life, take some Held2gether improv classes.

Just, you know, be careful on the roof. It's pretty high up there.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

I Can Make Your Bedrock

I'm sorry, I thought I would have a lot of extra time at the end of the year since we're done with classes and shows until the new year, but I'm swamped with work of both the Held2gether type and the non-Held2gether type, so blogging had to take a back seat all week.

But never fear! Just in time for your weekend shenanigans, I have a helpful post for you. At the drop-in class the other night, they did a game based on cheesy pickup lines. I wasn't there because I was evidently channeling a 95-year-old woman (or Viet) and was asleep before 7 p.m., but I've played it before. And I've heard cheesy pickup lines before.

Stop laughing. I meant I've heard people say them. You know, to other people. None of whom were me.

Anyway, my lameness aside, I am here to help. So just in time for the weekend, I'm going to list for you some of the awesome cheesy pickup lines people posted on the Held2gether Facebook page, which you should really "like," by the way. Hope this helps with your weekend mischief. You're welcome.

• Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock.
• My friend and I have a bet you won't take off your blouse in a public place.
• Come here pussycat. I have wet food in my pocket. [disclaimer: that was actually a suggestion from a cat]
• Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind.
• F@#* me if I'm wrong, but is your name Grizelda?
• Wanna f@#*?
• I think I've just died because I see an angel in front of me!
• I'm not ugly, you're just sober.

See, I've told you a million times that improv will literally help you in every area of your life. Even picking up dates in bars. If that's not improv for life, I dunno what is!

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Why 2011 Was the Best Year Ever

I was going to write a sappy post about the year winding down and all that Hallmark-y crap, but then I remembered this is supposed to be a funny blog. Sometimes I forget that there's a time and a place for everything. No, really. I am occasionally inappropriate.

Uh, so anyway, the year is winding down and all, but that's no reason to get all sentimental and weepy about resolutions you didn't keep and goals you didn't achieve. Why not focus on the positive? Here, I'll help! Cuz that's just how I roll, my friends.

1. You're reading this blog, correct? Awesome! That means you are both a) literate and b) not severely visually impaired. Yay you!
2. It also means you either own or have access to a computer or handheld digital device, which would imply you are not currently incarcerated or being held for ransom in a dank warehouse. Again, kudos!
3. It would also seem to indicate that you know about improv comedy, which demonstrates your superior intellect and excellent taste. Super! And finally,
   
4. Odds are you are neither married to nor in the process of divorcing a Kardashian. Nice!

Great job on making 2011 a huge success! If you want to make 2012 even better, take some Held2gether improv classes. Get out of your comfort zone, improve some skills, make new friends and have a ball. Who knows, maybe you'll even meet that special someone.

No, not a Kardashian.

By Sonnjea Blackwell

Commitment: The Key to Good Improv and Successful Arm Wrestling

Andy, Co-Dependent took offense yesterday when I proclaimed that only three people of my acquaintance could likely beat me in an arm wrestling contest, and he was not one of the three. Realistically, I'm sure he's right - I am, after all, a girl.

But the whole arm wrestling conversation triggered a long-forgotten memory that I will now share with you, as I am wont to do from time to time. At some point, I will try to draw a parallel between my memory and improv, as I am also wont to do.

My dad used to be quite a character: your typical beer-drinking-smack-talking-macho-redneck fireman. Once he was at a drinking establishment of ill repute when another patron got in his face about something. One thing led to another and, rather than resorting to fisticuffs, the two decided to settle their differences by arm wrestling.

My dad was 6 feet tall but lanky and wiry; the other dude was more muscular. Of course you see where this is going. Dad won. Then he won again. And again. The more the big dude lost, the madder he got until he foolishly bet my dad his motorcycle. My dad already had a motorcycle, but when he beat the guy for the final time, he took his bike anyway to "teach him a lesson." Oy.

The other guy seemed to have the size and the strength, and he definitely had the swagger. But my dad had the commitment. When he did a thing, whether it was arm wrestling drunks or putting out fires or building a house, he committed 100% to that thing until it was finished.

And now for the improv connection. (Fair warning, peeps: you don't wanna bet me your motorcycle that I will be unable to tie something - anything - to improv. You'll be cursing me all the way to the bus stop).

I've yammered on about the importance of commitment in improv, and I'm sure you realize by now that there is absolutely no successful improv without commitment. Stay in it, don't bail, don't judge yourself or your scene partners, don't laugh, don't do the wink-wink-nudge-nudge thing, don't leave the location. Fortunately, commitment isn't as hard to learn as you might imagine, and we teach people how to do it every day. We'd be delighted to teach you*, too, so register for a Held2gether Intro to Improv Comedy Class today... and don't procrastinate, because some of the January classes are already full-o-rooni, people!

*Disclaimer: Held2gether does not teach arm wrestling skills. We do not advocate arm wrestling with drunks in bars or elsewhere. Gambling is illegal. Motorcycles are dangerous. Always wear a helmet. Not all firemen are of the beer-drinking-smack-talking-macho-redneck variety, and we did not intend to imply otherwise. May not be combined with any other offers.


By Sonnjea Blackwell